On the night of the attack, I was working hard on my startup, Acro English, listening to my Paul Cardall playlist on Spotify. When my attacker came through my window, I quickly shut my computer, jumped off my bed, and met him at the window where we began fighting.
After the attack, my computer became one of my biggest "triggers." Even the thought of seeing my computer made me nervous. I avoided working for months just because I knew I'd really struggle opening my computer and seeing what I was doing right before and right as my attacker came into my room.
As silly as it may sound, I had to prepare myself mentally to open my computer. As soon as I got the courage, I did it. Within seconds after opening it, "Joseph's First Prayer" started playing right where it left off after I had closed my computer to fight my attacker. I completely broke down. I was mad. I was mad at the State of Utah for letting my attacker out of prison. I was made at Fortitude Treatment Center and every person who worked there for not keeping track of such a violent man and letting him go to his "doctor appointment" on a Sunday afternoon. I was mad at every person who gave him spare change as he posed as a homeless man. I was mad at him. I wanted so badly to be able to scream at him and tell him how angry I was. I wanted him to know how badly he hurt me. I was mad I wasn't living my new cute home with my sister. I was mad I had to stop working on Acro after working so hard for over a year to launch on October 9, 2015 and then not being able to because of him. I was mad at him for what he did to my family. For the way he scared my parents, siblings, and extended family. I was mad at him for taking away my innocence and forcing me to live scared of everything. I was even mad at God. Why didn't He stop my attacker?
I was bawling almost uncontrollably when another song started playing. "I Feel My Savior's Love" by Paul Cardall. Almost immediately, I felt the same familiar feeling I felt when my attacker was kneeling on me trying to stab me (again) but couldn't. I felt a hope I hadn't felt before. I was immediately comforted and knew there was a hope for healing.
After meeting Paul, I learned more about him and his personal trials. He told me he writes his music to help people heal. After everything he has gone through, his music's way of comforting has such a greater meaning.
He is as good, kind, and personable as his music.
His music helps heal. Go to Spotify, Pandora, iTunes, or YouTube and listen to ANY of his songs and I promise you'll feel the same thing I do, hope to heal.
I'll never be able to thank Paul Cardall enough for sharing his talent with the world. It has helped heal me time and time again.
A good friend of mine, Jason Lyle Black, has a new album Piano Preludes that was produced by Paul Cardall himself. His music is powerful. Thanks to Jason, I was able to meet and thank Paul personally for pursuing his dreams, in doing so, he is helping me continue to pursue mine.