During my fight I have come up with 8 things that coincidentally start with the letter 'c'. (c what I did there?!)
1. The Choice: with whatever you're fighting, YOU have to make "The Choice," to let your fightbreak you or to let your fight make you. NOT as easy as it sounds. I have to tell myself, in the mirror, every morning and night to "keep fighting." I encourage you to do the same. Have patience and remember, some choices have to be made repeatedly, even if it's everyday, every hour, every minute.
2. Be Confident: your value is not dependent on your fight or your status. YOU are YOU. You're not the number on your scale, the pill or drug that feeds addiction, another's negative or belittling opinion or violent actions against you. Your fight has already taken away (momentarily) enough, don't let it take your confidence nor your worth. You are greater. You are better.
3. Commit: commit to the choice and to being confident. Be your biggest fan. Stay focused. Stay committed.
4. Take Control: YOU determine your reaction and your reaction determines YOU. I will post more about this later, but for six months I blamed myself for everything that has happened to me and to my family post-attack. Why? Because I didn't shut the window. At least that's what I thought. After months of therapy, I have learned the reason I was blaming myself wasn't because I didn't shut the window, it was because I didn't take control of my thoughts. As soon as I learned how to take control, my perspective changed almost immediately. Taking mental control accelerates healing. (If there's interest, I will post how I learned to take control)
5. Combat: take action to reduce, destroy, or prevent something undesirable (thanks, Dictionary). I love this definition. We have to act. Healing won't come by sitting or wallowing in sadness/fear/wonder, which really is unfortunate, because if that were the case I'd be 100% healed and then some. Hard days come, but they go! New triggers appear, but you can learn how to combat them. Anniversary dates, smells, and other reminders pop up out of nowhere, but if you're ready to combat, you're ready to win. combat. combat. combat
6. Compliment: be good to yourself. Compliment yourself every time you look in a mirror or see your reflection. I'm not talking about, "daaaaaannnnnnggggg I look good!" compliments, I'm talking about "I'm proud of you for standing." compliments. Compliment your positive thoughts and choices. Compliment yourself after forced therapy. (again with interest, I will go into what forced therapy is and how it has help me & how it can help you). As weird as all of these may sound the small compliments I give myself like; "Bre you are brave." or "Bre you are strong." has taught me the power of positivity, especially when directed to ourselves.
7. Care: care for yourself, then care for others. You can't truly care for others until you have cared for yourself. I don't mean care for yourself until you're completely healed and ignore others in the process. I simply mean, make sure you are your first priority. When you feel strong enough to stand, care about their feelings and their fights. I jumped into caring for others first before I cared for myself and QUICKLY realized I didn't have the emotional, physical, nor mental capability to do so. As soon as I took a break to care for myself, I was happier and healthier and found I could more profoundly care for others because I wasn't constantly thinking of my own fight.
8. Continue: Repeat C's daily or with every hardship that comes up and c for yourself how much these 8 coping skills will throw knockout punches in your fight. celebrate you.